Communication is the lifeblood of a healthy marriage. It’s how two individuals transfer their thoughts, feelings, and dreams to each other as they become one flesh.
Without communication, marriage becomes nothing more than a living arrangement.
Consider how many verses in Scripture address the power of good communication:
“I have resolved that my mouth will not sin.” (Psalm 17:3)
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)
“He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” (Proverbs 21:23)
“Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3)
My experience counseling couples in struggling marriages has shown me that communication issues are at the heart of most relationship problems.
They don’t realize that their mouths can cause them to sin.
They don’t realize that reckless speech can leave lasting scars.
They don’t realize that guarding their words can protect their marriage.
While they may not always understand the power of words, our enemy does. Satan works tirelessly to break down a couple’s lines of communication. He knows nothing injects frustration and discouragement into a relationship like poor communication.
Have you ever gotten defensive when your spouse brings up a question or concern? That’s a communication issue, and it can escalate quickly into a hurtful situation.
Have you ever been disrespectful or demeaning when your spouse tried to communicate his or her needs to you? That’s a communication issue, and it can cause feelings of resentment.
Have you ever felt the urge to lecture your spouse or discount their concerns in order to win an argument? That’s a communication issue, and it can make your spouse feel unheard.
Bad communication keeps a marriage in a constant state of confusion. Good communication keeps a loving relationship running smoothly.
Couples have to figure out how to talk to each other in a productive way. They have to figure out how to listen and watch carefully over the tone of their words. If they can’t learn how to communicate well, their marriage will always lack the intimacy they desire.
Look at your own marriage. How well do you communicate with your spouse? Do your words heal or do they hit your spouse like a weapon? Do you get defensive? Do you listen rather than lecture?
These are essential questions to ask as you pursue a healthy, godly marriage. You must keep watch over your words.
Jimmy Evans // Marriage Today