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Marriage

How to Maximize the Fun Factor in Your Remarriage

How to Maximize the Fun Factor in Your Remarriage

A regular dose of fun, relaxing time together is a key part of a dynamic, fulfilling relationship. Ty and Andrea met on the tennis court. Every Saturday for months, they secretly watched each other practice and play in an intramural country club league. Finally, Ty asked Andrea to play a match and the rest was history. Eventually they discovered a shared passion for sports, and that became a central hub of their time together. Once they married,…

💍 When You and Your Spouse Don’t Agree

💍 When You and Your Spouse Don’t Agree

Did you have deep conversations when you and your spouse were dating? One reason Karen and I struggled so much early in our marriage was because we avoided those conversations. We dated to impress each other, not to prepare for marriage. We got married and didn’t even know if we agreed on important things! Proactive communication is critical to a healthy marriage. “Proactive” means communicating ahead of time, before something becomes an issue. Instead of reacting to…

💍 When Your Spouse Complains

💍 When Your Spouse Complains

No marriage is immune to feelings of anger. Karen and I get angry with each other, but we have learned how to process that anger. We’ve learned to talk through things, to let it out, rather than letting our anger fester. Unresolved anger doesn’t just cause relationship problems. It also causes health problems. A University of Michigan study found that people in bad marriages have a 35 percent higher incidence of disease and live an average of…

💍 How to Deal with Anger on a Daily Basis

💍 How to Deal with Anger on a Daily Basis

Great marriages will still have times of anger. That’s just the way it is. Karen and I have come a long way since the early days of our marriage, when we came right to the brink of divorce. The difference between then and now is that we know how to deal with our anger. Anger is inevitable and anger is normal. It’s a human response. God gets angry. Jesus got angry and cleansed the temple. The fact…

💍 The Battle For Control And Dominance

💍 The Battle For Control And Dominance

In 1998, the famed psychology professor John Gottman released a fascinating study. For six years, he interviewed 130 newly married couples in a project about listening in relationships. He compared them to another group he had been monitoring for 13 years. The purpose of the study was to gauge the effectiveness of a certain kind of communication, but in the process of researching so many couples he came to an unrelated conclusion: The common element among the…

How Do You Fight Selfishness in Marriage?

How Do You Fight Selfishness in Marriage?

I was doing some homework at breakfast, planning to meet a close friend and mentor the next morning. And I needed to be ready. I love connecting with him, but every time I do, he asks me the same question: “What has God been teaching you lately?” I don’t always have an answer, and I wanted to prepare a theologically deep and appropriately pithy response. And then, just as my brain was getting into a groove, Erin…

💍 Why Couples Really Fight

💍 Why Couples Really Fight

Fear is one of the most destructive forces in an individual’s life, and one of the most destructive forces in marriage. Fear causes you to do the things that will make your fears come true. That’s why it never motivates right behavior. When Karen and I first got married, we let fear guide us. I tried to hide my fear with macho behavior because I was afraid of failure. I didn’t want to be perceived as weak.…

How Would Jesus Date?

How Would Jesus Date?

While Jesus never dated, He did have friends. And His friendships reveal the nature of His relationships in such a way that we can imagine how He would date. Brain research suggests that romantic attachment — infatuation — is more powerful than the sex drive. Neurologically speaking, it’s easier to say no to physical sexual passion than it is to regulate the rush of emotional infatuation. Think about that. Consider all the sermons you’ve heard as a…

💍 How to Share Your Dreams and Desires

💍 How to Share Your Dreams and Desires

The greatest depth of intimacy you and your spouse experience in marriage isn’t physical intimacy. It’s not even emotional intimacy. The most profound connection in marriage is spiritual. Spiritual intimacy is a sense of unity and mutual commitment to God’s purpose for your lives and marriage. It’s a special respect for the deepest dreams each of you cry out for. As with emotional intimacy, cultivating spiritual intimacy requires value, energy, sacrifice, and trust. “I value God’s purpose…

How A Close Connection with God Brings Hope to Your Relationships

How A Close Connection with God Brings Hope to Your Relationships

My husband declared he wanted a vista. “A vista!” I cried, “you said you wanted a view!” His declaration was my undoing. In one day, Tom and I had sold the farm where we’d lived for 23 years. What resulted was a flurry of activity to thin out the possessions we’d collected and downsize. We both agreed on our top priority for the new home: We wanted a view. After a month of looking, I found the sweetest…

💍 How to Keep Your Marriage Flying High

💍 How to Keep Your Marriage Flying High

Let’s say your family is an airplane. You and your spouse are the pilots. Your children are riding as passengers. Maybe you’ve been flying this plane for so many years you’re just operating on autopilot. It’s easy. It’s efficient. But flying on autopilot can put you out of practice if something goes wrong. And when something challenging occurs, if you can’t keep the plane in the air, you don’t just hurt yourself and your spouse. You hurt…

💍 How To Fall In Love All Over Again

💍 How To Fall In Love All Over Again

Soul mates are not born. They’re made. That’s a fact that may discourage people who think marriage should be easy, but it’s the truth. God created marriage to succeed. But that success requires us to put energy into it. In other words, you have to work at marriage. As an example, let’s talk about emotions. One misconception about marriage is that the emotions will always be there. You’ll always feel “in love.” The truth is that you’ll…

💍 Striking Your Spiritual And Emotional Match

💍 Striking Your Spiritual And Emotional Match

When people ask Karen and me to explain to them the secret of our marriage, I usually have a one-word answer: God. God is the secret of our marriage. He is the secret of why we are together. The greatest intimacy that we experience is the spiritual part of our relationship. That’s why we work hard to create spiritual intimacy in our marriage. But spiritual intimacy requires emotional intimacy. And emotional intimacy means both spouses need to be…

Men Who Act Like Teenage Boys

Men Who Act Like Teenage Boys

Manhood requires us to put the lure of adolescence behind us, face upward, and step up. You hear it in the stories of middle-aged women who talk of husbands who decided they weren’t in love anymore and bolted like a colt for their freedom. Husbands who succumb to the charms of a younger woman. Husbands who retreat into the same cocoon of self-absorption and irresponsibility that we see in so many adolescents. In other words, these men…

Learn to Make Your Differences Work for Both of You

Learn to Make Your Differences Work for Both of You

Working together as Christian sexual therapists for more than 40 years, we’ve often heard complaints from couples struggling with intimacy in marriage. Husbands frequently complain, “Men need sex; women need affection, but I can’t get my wife to understand my need for sex. Please help!” Then we hear the counter complaint from wives, “All he ever wants is sex. No matter how frequently we have sex, it is never enough!” We’ve also heard contrary comments from women who…

💍🌟 Chip And Joanna Gaines Make Heartbreaking Announcement For Fans Of ‘Fixer Upper’ [Watch]

💍🌟 Chip And Joanna Gaines Make Heartbreaking Announcement For Fans Of ‘Fixer Upper’ [Watch]

Chip and Joanna Gaines made it official today: Their popular HGTV show “Fixer Upper” will be no more after the upcoming fifth season. There had been whispers of such a move. To be clear, the couple did not say it was cancelled by the network, but rather a “choice.” “It is with both sadness and expectation that we share the news that season 5 of Fixer Upper will be our last,” the couple wrote in a statement on their…

💍 7 Things I Wish I’d Known About Men Before I Married

💍 7 Things I Wish I’d Known About Men Before I Married

Knowing these truths would have helped me prepare for marriage and be a better wife. By Tricia Goyer Growing up with my stepdad and younger brother I thought I knew a thing or two about men. While I knew not to change the channel during a football game, not to serve quiche for dinner, and not to attempt to fix a broken doorknob with a rubber band, there were a few important things I missed—things that would…

💍 How To Date And Successfully Marry

Your marriage can succeed. Regardless of how much you are struggling or how fearful you may be, you can make it in marriage. God made marriage. God also made you for marriage, and He never makes anything to fail. You might say, “Well, Jimmy, then why are so many people failing in their marriages?” It’s because they’re not doing it God’s way. There are several issues at stake here, but one of the most significant is that people get…

💍 Why We Marry Who We Marry

Most people think marriage is about the future. For some, marriage is a way to escape their past. They think, “I want to find a person who will take me as far from my past as I can possibly get.” That’s what I thought when I married Karen. But subconsciously, God has wired us the opposite of that kind of thinking. We naturally seek a person who will walk us back to our past so we can…