One of my favorite biblical passages related to marriage is found in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, which says this:
In the Bible, God gives us laws of love that determine the success or failure of our relationships. These ensure that love is not a fickle thing that we might lose. Love is within our control.
One of the most significant of these laws is the Law of Sowing and Reaping. Galatians 6:7-8 says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”
In other words, you can’t sow wheat seeds into the ground and get a crop of watermelons. Whatever you sow in life is going to come back to you.
If you sow harsh words and anger into your marriage, don’t be surprised if those results return your way.
But if you sow good words and praise, you will get positive results. When you sow love, when you sow kindness, when you sow graciousness, those things bring a return.
Another law is the Law of Measure. You reap according to the measure that you’ve sown. Luke 6:38 says, “For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”
Early in our marriage, I wanted Karen and me to have more sex. On the other hand, she wanted me to be more affectionate with her. Unfortunately I didn’t know how to be affectionate. I just wanted to play golf. I was hoping for a big harvest of sex but I was not sowing into her need for affection.
Our relationship didn’t change until I hung up my golf clubs and learned how to be affectionate. I began to sacrifice to meet her needs—and she began to meet my needs in return.
A smart farmer knows it’s not how much seed you’ve got in the barn, but how much you’ve got in the ground that counts. All of us have the ability to meet the needs of a spouse.
But that potential doesn’t count for much until we take the seed from the barn and begin to sow it. When we do, it will be measured back in return.
The third law is the Law of Investment. You don’t just reap what you sow, but you reap where you sow.
Matthew 6:21 says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
In this passage, the word translated “treasure” doesn’t mean gold or jewels, but a treasury—the place you keep your most valuable possessions. It is the storehouse for your passions. In other words, you will find success in the place where your passions lie. This is where you sow the majority of your time and energy.
When you give your spouse the attention and care they deserve, then you are sowing into your marriage and your marriage will reap the benefits. Likewise, if you sow into your work, your career will reap benefits. But you can’t sow all of your effort into your work and then expect your marriage to blossom.
Sow into your marriage and you’ll stay passionate about your marriage.
Show me the recipient of all your energy and effort, and I’ll show you your treasure.
God has given us laws to guide our marriages. By understanding and following these laws, we will reap a fruitful harvest of love, sacrifice, and understanding. What are you sowing into your marriage?
Jimmy Evans // Marriage Today