In order to build a lifelong foundation for passion and sexual intimacy in marriage, a couple must make sure four core beliefs are in place. These core beliefs are simple to remember because they spell out an acronym: TRUE.
T=The Bible is true and authoritative in my life and marriage. The fact that the Bible is still under attack in America shows that it is still relevant to our lives today. Why? Because attacking God’s Word is the devil’s oldest strategy. In Genesis 3:1, when he first spoke to humanity, the devil asked, “Has God surely said…?”
In other words, his first priority is to convince us that God’s Word can’t be trusted. But had Adam and Eve followed God’s commands, they would still be living in a perfect marriage in the Garden of Eden. It was only when they stopped believing the truth of His words that they lost everything.
Everyone has sexual issues, but unless we believe God’s Word is true, we will always be deceived about sex. Only God’s Word can be our standard for right and wrong.
R=Reality is much different than the culture portrays it. Movies, television shows, magazines, social media and the internet display glamorized views of sexual immorality. And even though they’ll show us the immorality and fun, they don’t show us the aftermath. They don’t show the heartache or the disease.
That’s why people feel like they’re missing out on something in “the real world.” We think everyone is having better sex than we are. In comparison, our lives look dull and disappointing. But what we’re seeing is not reality.
U=Unmet needs open the door for the devil to attack our marriages. When you get married, you give your body to your spouse. But when a married couple begins withholding themselves from each other, for instance, taking away sex as a form of punishment, then we are no longer focused on meeting each other’s needs.
When this happens, you’ve given the devil an open door for temptation and other attacks. You can’t remove all the food from your home and then get upset when a person starts to get hungry. This isn’t a license for abuse, but when you give yourselves to each other sexually, you close the door on the devil.
E=Each of us has what the other needs. God created us for relationship, so no person can meet his or her own needs. I have what Karen needs and she has what I need. If we could meet our own needs, we wouldn’t have gotten married. That’s why a marriage flourishes when a husband and wife serve one another.
By God’s design, the best marriages occur between two servants in love. Each knows what the other needs. Each works to meet those needs. Each puts the other’s interests first. They give and give and give to each other.
Sexual intimacy is one of the greatest blessings God has given us in marriage. That’s why it’s one of the main reasons people get married. But passion and intimacy must begin with a TRUE foundation. When the foundation is solid, the marriage will be strong and prepared to last a lifetime.
Jimmy Evans // Marriage Today