Did you have deep conversations when you and your spouse were dating? One reason Karen and I struggled so much early in our marriage was because we avoided those conversations. We dated to impress each other, not to prepare for marriage. We got married and didn’t even know if we agreed on important things!
Proactive communication is critical to a healthy marriage. “Proactive” means communicating ahead of time, before something becomes an issue. Instead of reacting to something when it comes up, you put it on the table first and talk about it without the anxiety or emotion.
For example, Christmas is approaching. A couple that practices proactive communication will start to talk about Christmas in September or October, before money becomes an issue, before holiday plans get stressful, and before expectations don’t get met. This way, you resolve issues without pressure.
Some couples won’t communicate proactively because they’re trying to avoid arguments. But let me ask you a question: Wouldn’t you rather have a difficult two-hour conversation tonight than not have that argument and live in anxiety for several weeks? Isn’t it better to just go ahead and get it over with?
Proactive communication allows you to dwell in peace. And peaceful marriages are so much better than anxious marriages, the kind where you’re on tiptoes waiting for the next fight to happen. Karen and I are committed to helping couples thrive because we want you to experience that peace.
Since we began MarriageToday in 1994, we have seen our little ministry become the largest marriage ministry in the world. We’ve seen God do amazing things. Consider this testimony from a woman named Amanda, who wrote to us recently:
Your videos, books and teachings have been a long-awaited answered prayer. I am so grateful for God leading me to your resources. While our marriage is still in desperate need of healing and love, for the first time I have finally felt hope! I am a bigger believer in marriage and my commitment than ever!
Right now we have an opportunity to reach even more people like Amanda with God’s plan for marriage and to help other couples discover healthy marriages filled with proactive communication. To do so, we have set a year-end goal of raising $400,000.
Meeting this goal will help us produce even more resources that raise the standard for marriage and change lives.
As 2017 winds down and you think about donating to the organizations that mean the most to you, will you consider supporting us? Your gift can help bring peace to relationships during the Christmas season and throughout the year.
Jimmy Evans // Marriage Today